Tuesday, January 17, 2017

The Planned Parenthood Conversation We Really Need To Have

I had the fortune of having a conversation with a Facebook friend who had beliefs and statistics against Planned Parenthood. I have copied and pasted excerpts from that conversation our Facebook Inbox chat. It's unfortunate that the current rhetoric in the United States today is so toxic surrounding this subject, that most are led into highly emotional conversations that ends up in name calling and other negative discussions. I want to believe I had a very good dialogue with my friend and he may have a different conversation with others on the subject of Planned Parenthood. One that is not based on just statistics and numbers. One that seeks understanding and maybe even learning that everyone has a different story and not just an agenda. My comments are in the blue ellipsis, my friends' are in the gray and have the word 'Him' in front of his actual dialogue.

All comments are welcome. Here's the conversation quoted in its entirety. Now, let's have a discussion!

Him: Well I am using this product as an advocate and trying in education for our young sisters

Me: I am 55 now and when I was younger, I had several abortions and none of them were done at a Planned Parenthood place.
I didn't even know what it was until recently

Him: I do not fault you because I understand the human experience

Me: You see abortions will always be done, and let me enlighten you.
The loophole to obtaining an 'abortion' is to have a D&C--OB-GYN's in hospitals do it everyday

Him: True
Smart lady!!!!

Me: So you can shut down Planned Parenthood, but if you do you will shut down the largest supplier of birth control information in this country
Women will always be able to get an abortion or a D&C

Him: I don't want to shut them down

Me: I think people are miseducated about PP
Because politicians are leading that charge

Him: My wife has her Doctorates degree in education we want to add more education on the school level

Me: My mother and I were very close and we talked about everything! I am the woman I am today because of her.  When I asked her about abortions, she shared some horrific yet promising information about them.  The 1st thing she shared with me is that a woman is one of the most determined thinking creatures God created.  And if she wants something done bad enough she will do it

Me: That being said, women back in the day before abortions became legal, would go to people who were not licensed, did not have sterile environments for those procedures, and give women what used to be known as back door abortions.

Him: So see I needed you on my team so now I can learn more I told you I was stalking your page lol
My grandma had a backdoor abortion

Me: My mother told me a young girl she went to high school with went to one of those places because she didn't have the money to get rid of a child she didn't want to have. You see this young girl was being molested almost daily by her stepfather.
She didn't want to have a child by the man who was abusing her, because she thought it would be a lifelong reminder of the abuse and helplessness she suffered from this man.

Him: My mom went through being molested by a uncle and went through one as well

Me: And she felt her mother would throw her out if she knew the circumstances of her pregnancy.  So she got together with a couple of her friends at school who knew a woman.  A woman that would help her. This woman used a clothes hanger to do her abortions.  Well the young girl went there, had the abortion, and went home.
She was found dead in her bed the next morning. She couldn't stop bleeding and probably some kind of sepsis may have stepped in.

Me: My point is, saying misinformation about Planned Parenthood won't help your cause. It will alienate you from a core audience that will not forget this.
Women take it seriously when others try to tell us what to do with our bodies. I don't believe it's anyone's business but God's what I choose to do with my body.
Yes I am save, and I love the Lord and place no one above Him. But one thing I know to be true is that no matter what I do in this life, the only one who can stop me (if I allow Him) is Jesus' loving concern.

Him: So sad about that young girl

Me: The moral of the story is if we are to better educate women, young and old about abortions, we must get to the core of the matter. We have to have a spiritual foundational message that is in my opinion the best way.

Him: I'm so glad I met you

Me: Because we have been given free will by God, we are still going to choose whatever we want. That is the essence of free will. However, at any time we can choose God's will for our lives.

Him: Yes you hit it on the head right there

Me: I don't like the political rhetoric and sometime religious rhetoric surrounding abortions because I know I am nothing but a sinner. For His grace I am saved. I have had several abortions, no I'm not proud of it, and I am surely not bragging.

Me: I have my moments where I pray and cry that Jesus forgives me for not knowing what I didn't know.

Him: I know you not bragging you are being honest and genuine

Me: However, the conversation regarding Planned Parenthood and abortions needs to be different.

Him: That is what would make you a powerful advocate for change

Me: I believe it needs to have a different approach. One that does not make women feel like they are demonic, or bad.

Him: Because you speak from experience

Me: Or not loved by God.
It needs to be one of healing, compassion and education.

Him: Agreed
I think education is the main ingredient
Outside o God

Me: Compassion and healing as well. Don't for a minute think women who have had abortions are proud of it.

Him: Agreed

Me: We live each day with the hurt and pain of what if. I had 2 children, one was born without the use of his pancreas and at 9 months old he was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. He had to take insulin twice a day as a result of this.
You can not grow out of Type 1 diabetes.

Him: Type one is serious

Me: He lived until he was 23. This year will mark 12 years he has been gone.

Him: I'm so sorry to hear that

Me: I often think of all the unborn babies I aborted either because my ex-husband didn't want it or because I didn't want to have more children by a man who turned out to be a crack addict and wife beater.

Him: Got me over here crying cause your story is so compassionate I have boys and I know how it would be if I lost one

Me: Sorry. I'm crying as I type this. Because I miss my son, and wonder how my life would have been had I not had those abortions.

Him: I am so glad you took the time to talk to me so glad

Me: And none of them were done at Planned Parenthood. See those places were not in the hood in the beginning.

Him: Right on that

Me: When I said I was saved, that also means I accept God's will by sharing my testimony any time I get the chance.

Him: Thank yu very powerful

Me: I understand it is powerful only because it is real life.
Now think about this Planned Parenthood rhetoric we hear in the news and online. Think of how many other women like me who have stories similar to mine and are embarrassed and ashamed to tell their story as I have today with you.

Him: I definitely get your point

Me: We have to change our dialogue, our conversations with people just because we don't know their story.

Him: Agreed

Me: We have to stop assuming it's the poor folks in the hood.
Because quite frankly, the hood has the richest financial underground (monies being made that is never ever taxed) in this country.