Walking In My Truth: Today is a Better Day

Today was an interesting day. I decided to stop living a lie. One of the things that prohibit us from receiving blessings or even being comfortable in our own skin is to not face your consequences. Let me explain.

I had accepted a job with a company only because of the potential money I could make. I am a good salesperson but I’m not great. I’m just being honest. I can make a living at it, but I won’t ever be exceptional in the role. Now don’t get me wrong this isn’t about a lack of confidence on my part. Instead, it is about owning my shortcomings and not being embarrassed by them. I can do the job, but I won’t stay committed to it for any length of time. 

You see I’m a writer and a photographer. It’s in my DNA. It’s the only thing that I’m passionate about. If you want to see my eyes light up, let’s talk about photography. I promise you I will go on and on about it. I will spend my last dollar on a 64gb or 128gb high-speed memory card, even before I buy something to eat. I’ve created these great digital and magnets Scripture Photos. I love taking pictures of nature and landscapes.  I do that and add scripture to them. I have created over 100 different images and just added them to EBay for sale. So far I’ve sold 8 this week.  That’s pretty exciting. I never considered EBay sales before. Now I’m glad I did.

Here is one of them:

Writing for me is therapeutic. Whenever there is a problem in my life, I write about it. Sometimes the situation I’m in is so painful that I am crying as I write. I’m no stranger to tears. From my understanding tears have a way of cleansing the soul.

Back to me not accepting the job.  I analyzed the situation before actually informing the potential employer. I kept feeling some kind of way about sending that email so I asked myself why was I feeling so bad about turning this company down? Companies surely don’t feel that way about me when they decide not to hire me.  What I came up with is that I feel bad for them having to be told this decision. Wait, why am I even concerned with how a company feels about me not taking their job? 

It sounds almost comical in hindsight. I actually matured a little. I came to the conclusion that I am not a good fit and the fact that I interviewed last week for a position that starts next month and I’m actually excited about that more than the ‘job in hand.’ 

In the meantime, I am going to continue shooting (taking pictures) and writing because it’s what a creative person does - a creative person who embraces her truth. Walking in your truth means admitting to all your flaws and loving them and using those flaws to contribute to the beauty of our world.