When Does It Get Better?

This has been a year for me! I went into 2017 struggling to pay bills and make ends meet and it looks like I’m going into 2018 the same way. Nothing I’ve tried works. I will see small results but none big enough to get me out of the dark financial cave I’m in.  I hope God helps me but there is a part of me that doesn’t believe he will help me. I’ve worried and cried all the tears I have. I don’t know what to do anymore.

The jobs I’ve held this year have not paid enough to get me out of this mess. And by the way this mess is rent, car note and car insurance. I don’t know where this is headed, but I know for sure that I can’t change it. I tried getting an online business and I haven’t made one sale.

I worried so much the earlier part of the year that I worried myself straight into the hospital.  Being in the hospital set me back even further. The good news is I’m still alive.  I’m sure that I’ve fallen so far that I have to come up soon. I can’t drink these problems away, they still remain.

Any day my car will be repossessed; an eviction notice is looming. I’m in between jobs right now, I’ve applied for unemployment but haven’t received a decision. Hopefully it will be approved and I can at least keep my apartment. I don’t want to be homeless.

My daughter and son in law help me as much as they can, but there is only so much they can do. My daughter tells me she won’t let me be homeless, I’m thankful and grateful for that.

I haven’t given up yet, deep down I know I can’t do that. I had a job interview yesterday, if I’m selected for the position I will start in December. If God doesn’t help me I’m not sure I will be able to keep my apartment let alone my car.

I applied for a sales job but I need insurance on my vehicle to start work. Oh well, guess I’m not supposed to get that job.

Just had to write this to get so much out of my head and on paper. Hopefully next time I write something it will be good news.